When Lightning Strikes Twice
by Donna'sLittleBuddy
Summary: You didn’t bury people who were young enough to be your child. That wasn’t how life was supposed to work. However, fate seemed to be out to get them all.
1. The Shot Heard Around Her World

**When Lightning Strikes Twice**

Author: Donna'sLittleBuddy  
  
Rating: PG-13 to be safe 

Couples: J/D... to start

Category: **Angst**, Drama, Romance

Summary: Josh is shot again. What will happen this time?Disclaimers: These characters aren't mine (god knows I wish that they were) they belong to Aaron Sorkin etc.  
  
Author's Notes: This is my first fanfic so tell me if you like it. This takes place in the second term of the administration, but since it is an AU Sam is still at the White House, and Will is not. **Major Major Angst Alert!! You may want lots of tissues. I even had a hard time writing it. Please read and review. Your comments will be greatly appreciated**.

**When Lightning Strikes Twice**

**Chapter 1**

**The shot heard around her world **

November 11

11:27 PM

She heard the door click open and shut. "Shit." She knew that she should have locked the door. 

"Donna! Donna, where are you?" Toby was calling.

She turned off the shower hoping that he wouldn't notice. Maybe if she stayed quiet he would leave. The initial shock had gone away. After hearing the news she had taken off. His note had still been on the counter when she had come in the apartment. 

Donna,  
I have to go back to the office to grab

Some files. Don't worry I'll be back  
By the time you have dinner ready.  
Try not to miss me too much.  
Love,  
Josh

And now. She remembered seeing it and thinking maybe drowning herself in the shower wouldn't be so bad. If only Toby hadn't come.

"Donna." She heard the turning of the knob for the bathroom. "Donna?" Toby opened the shower door and wrapped a towel around her shoulders drawing her in tight.

That was the final straw. She felt her control slip and she knew that she wasn't going to be able to regain it. She hadn't cried when CJ told her that he had been shot. She remembered the familiar sense of dread and darkness that wanted to consume her just like when she had found out what had happened at Rosslyn. The first sob wrenched through her body as he held her tight. She felt her knees give out. Felt him keep her from falling until he was on his knees, and then the heart breaking sobs that were so full of sadness that you could feel it within your very soul. There was Toby sitting in the middle of the bathroom floor holding her as he ran his hand through her hair and whispered gently trying to calm her.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

November 12

3:41 AM

She woke up not knowing where she was, but realizing that someone else was there too. She looked around.

"Josh, why are you giving me that look?"

"You must have been having a nightmare. You were crying hysterically and mumbling something about 'not again'. I wasn't sure what to do."

"I thought that you had been shot, but you're right it must have been a nightmare."

"You still have those nightmares?"

"No, actually this is the first that I've had in quite awhile."

Then she heard it. "Donna. Donna."

"Josh, why is CJ here?"

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"Donna, wake up." She opened her eyes to see CJ

"Why are you here? Where's Josh?"

"Donna, he's at the hospital. Don't you remember? He was shot." She felt her world start to crumble as reality replaced her dream.

"Donna if you eat we can go and see him. He is still in critical condition, but Mrs. Bartlet has talked to the doctor s and the surgery seemed to go alright."

She heard the words that CJ said, but they didn't seem to register anything other than 'critical'.

"Are you up to it?" She nodded, knowing that if she opened her mouth a rush of tears would still come. 

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 

The car ride had been awful. The silence had been enough to make CJ's uneasiness noticeable. Palpable. They had arrived at the hospital and she had been greeted by an on slaughter of hugs from the entire staff. She tried to appreciate all the support that the staff was trying to give, but all she really wanted was to see Josh. Sam saw her and moved to her side.

"Come on. I'll take you to his room."

She nodded and let Sam lead her to Josh's room as Toby fell in step behind them. Upon entering the room she knew she would lose it. The noise of the machines and the whole atmosphere was too familiar. All the tubes and wires attached to him brought back all the memories that she had buried. The machines and monitors made him look like a robot that was part of someone's science fair project. She reached out and caught Sam's hand gripping it tightly for support. Toby came around and started rubbing her back, trying to get her to calm down.

"Do you want me to get someone? CJ? Abbey?" Toby's eyes were soft, they glinted with unnatural compassion.

His tone held all the worry that he wasn't allowing himself to show on his face. She whispered "no" as she let go of what she had been mentally holding on to and let the darkness that she had been fighting since she had entered Josh's room envelope her. Letting her fall into an all to familiar dream world. 

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 

"She doesn't seem to healthy."

"Look at how pale she is."

She heard the voices and realized what had happened. She moved a little and felt the arms she had been in loosen up. Opening her eyes she saw Toby. Toby, it was always Toby in the end. He shifted.

"Donna, do you want to be with him now?"

A nod. He helped her to her feet and led her to a chair by the bed. She instantly tried to fix his unruly hair and then realized that it didn't matter, letting her hand drop to his. She heard the door open and shut as the staff filed out of the room.

She felt the tears fall.

"How could you have this happen Josh?"

She stopped as if waiting to hear his retort.

"Why couldn't you have waited till morning to get what you needed? Why do you have this habit of being at the wrong place at the wrong time?"

She remembered how she had heard from the other end that it had just been a random attack. She didn't know if the person even realized Josh was who he was.

"Well, I really don't care about the answers to the other questions. However you better not leave me!"

The tears were flowing freely now. She didn't notice the president entering the room.

"I need you! I feel like just got you and now I have to let go too soon. But you can't. So you better not try it! I can't have it now. Not now Josh! NOT NOW!"

She let her head fall into her hands as she sobbed. The president came around to the side of the chair where Donna had managed to plop herself in. He put his arms around her shoulders and held her until she had cried herself to sleep. 

TBC....


	2. Not All Things Go Bump in the Night

**When Lightning Strikes Twice**  
  
Rating: PG-13 to be safe 

Couples: J/D to start

Category: **Angst**, Drama, Romance

Summary: Josh is shot again. What will happen this time?Disclaimers: These characters aren't mine (god knows I wish that they were) they belong to Aaron Sorkin etc.  
  
Author's Notes: This is my first fanfic so tell me if you like it. This takes place in the second term of the administration, but since it is an AU Sam is still at the White House, and Will is not. Major Major Angst Alert!! You may want lots of tissues. I even had a hard time writing it. Please read and review. Your comments will be greatly appreciated. 

**BTW: Thanks to all of my reviewers! I hope to make your dreaded Agnst worth it in th**e end!

Chapter 2 Not all things go bump in the night 

"Donna, please don't cry. I hate it when you cry."

"Josh you shouldn't be here wasting energy. You need to rest so that you get better."

"I know that's why I won't stay long. It's just I need you to promise me that if I don't make it you won't be afraid to love and that you'll let others love you."

"Josh don't talk like that. You have to live. You can't just go and leave me and the others."

"Donna you have to promise me, please. There are people that will be there for you if you need it. You can push them away."

"I promise Josh, but please don't leave"

"I'll try Donna, but it is so hard this time. I'll try, but I don't know if ..."

"You can. Now please get some rest. I'll see you when you wake up, along with everybody else. So go"

"I will. Goodbye Donna. I love you."

"I'll see you later Josh, and I love you too." 

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 

November 13

10:30 AM

She stirred. She was on a cot, and Josh was right near her. She looked around to see Leo asleep in a chair and busying with Josh. The nurse turned and saw that Donna was awake. She started towards Leo.

"No," Donna said, "let him sleep."

The nurse then turned back to her.

"Would you like some breakfast?"

She shook her head 'no'. The thought of breakfast just didn't seem to settle with her right now.

"How is he?"

The nurse looked a little nervous.

"Well, he's still critical, and the doctors are watching him closely."

Donna absorbed all that was said, taking it all in a stride. This isn't the time to be weak. This was the time she had to be strong for Josh, and for everyone else. She knew that she had her time to cry; now it was up.

"What are his chances?"

Now the nurse was looking even more nervous.

"I'll get the doctor so that he can talk more to you."

The nurse left and Donna watched as she saw the nurse stop and talk to someone outside the door. The door opened, and in walked Abbey. She looked over at Leo's sleeping figure.

"I should probably wake him. He has been here all night since Jed came out and said to get something that you could sleep on."

She went over to him.

"Leo, get up she's up now. Plus you need to get home so that you can get more sleep."

Leo opened his eyes saw Donna and gave her an encouraging smile. Then he got up from the chair that he had been in and walked out of the room. Abbey turned to her.

"So, how are you holding out?"

Donna smiled weakly trying to prove to herself and Abbey that she was fine.

"Donna, don't try that act with me. Right now your poker face isn't much better than Josh's."

Donna looked at her.

"I'm sorry Mrs. Bartlet."

"First of all it's Abbey, and second of all you have nothing to be sorry about. You have every right, within reason, to do what ever you want right now. I hear that the doctor is coming shortly, do you want me to stay?"

"No."

Abbey didn't look too surprised. She seemed to understand the way that Donna was going to play the game.

"Okay then. I just wanted to say hi, and see how you were doing. I'll stop by later most likely."

"Goodbye, and thank you Abbey."

Hearing Donna say Abbey made Abbey smile as she walked out the door leaving Donna alone with her thoughts.  
However they were disturbed, once again by the opening of the door. She looked up to see the doctor walk in,

"Miss Moss, I'm Dr. Smith. I've been monitoring Mr. Lyman's Condition since he came in."

He held out his hand. Donna took it and looked him straight in the eye.

"What are his chances?"

Dr. Smith hesitated for a moment.

"They're not to good at the moment. He suffered from blood loss, due to the fact that the bullet entered at almost the same spot as his first wound, so he wasn't in the best condition when he came in here because of the weak spot. Right now will be the determining factor on whether he makes it or not."

She felt the shudder move through her body.

"Numbers. I need numbers. Can you give me numbers?"

She smiled recalling Josh's anxiety that night.

"Numbers?"

The doctor looked confused.

"Yes. What are the percents?"

"In all honesty Miss Moss, and this is the same thing that I told the rest of your group, they don't look promising. Right now I'd give him a 30% survival rate."

"Thank you." She watched the doctor walk out to watch C.J. walk in.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"Donna, do you want me to run to your apartment and grab some stuff so that you can stay here?"

CJ looked almost hopeless. She didn't know what to do.

"No, don't worry about it actually can you stay with him CJ? I really want to get back to our place to sleep some. It wouldn't be to much of a bother would it?"

CJ shook her head.

"It's not a problem at all. Want me to leave while you say good bye?"

"No, it won't embarrass me and I'm pretty certain that you wouldn't mind having the blackmail on him."

CJ smiled.

She went to the bed and kissed his lips and then the top of his head, while in the process of smoothing his hair. Then she whispered.

"I love you and I promise."

She stood up and turned towards CJ.

"Could you call me at ... Well, actually what time is it now?"

"11:15"

"Okay could you call me at 8:00?"

"Yeah, no problem. Now go get some sleep."

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"Josh, why aren't you resting? I told you. You have to get better and the only way you can do that is if you rest. Do you want me to have to reinstate the rules again?" 

"Donna, shh listen to me. I can't do it this time it's to big I don't have the power to fight it this time around."

"Don't say that! You can't give up it just isn't you. How can you even think of give up?!"

"Donna! You know me and you know that I would never NEVER give up. I just wanted to make sure that I could have one more chance to say good bye."

"No Josh you can't leave I need you."

"Donna, I don't want to but I can't promise anything. Come here."

She went into his open arms and was enveloped in a tight hug. She looked up with tears in her eyes, which Josh wiped away and then gave her a quick kiss before hugging her again.

"I love you, remember that, and remember our promise," he said into her hair.

"I have to go now , but I promise to hold on as long as I can. Love you."

"I love you too."

She watched him leave and heard the growing presence of a ringing.

TBC...


	3. Beginning to End in a Split Second

**When Lighting Strikes Twice**  
  
Rating: PG-13 to be safe

Couples: J/D

Category: **Angst**, Drama, Romance

Summary: Josh is shot again. What will happen this time?Disclaimers: These characters aren't mine (god knows I wish that they were) they belong to Aaron Sorkin etc.  
  
Author's Notes: This is my first fanfic so tell me if you like it. This takes place in the second term of the administration, but since it is an AU Sam is still at the White House, and will is not. **Major Major Angst Alert!! You may want lots of tissues. I even had a hard time writing it. Please read and review. Your comments will be greatly appreciated**.

Thank you to all those who have reviewed this so far

Chapter 3 Beginning to End in a Split Second 

November 13

9:54 PM

The ringing continued to stay with Donna even as Josh left. Why wasn't it going away? However, it finally clicked, the phone.

"Hello."

"Donna, it's CJ. I need you to listen to me, okay. First of all it is almost 10:00. Nothing was happening so I thought I would let you sleep, but now there has been a problem and it doesn't look so good. You better get down here quick. Donna, I'm sorry I should have called you at 8:00."

"CJ, calm down. It isn't your fault." She hoped that this would help her calm down too.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't worry. I'll be down there soon."

With that she hung up the and moved into action grabbing something to wear, throwing it on, and then getting her keys and heading for the door. However just as she was ready to leave the phone rang again.

"Hello."

"Donna?" It was CJ again.

"Yeah. I'm on my way there now."

"No, Donna he's dead. Just stay there...."

She dropped the phone and crumpled into a ball as she sobbed. She could still hear CJ on the other end.

"....the President is sending Sam and Toby over to get you. They should be there soon, so don't try to get over here...."

The rest was drowned out. Sam and Toby didn't even have to knock as they arrived at the apartment. They could hear Donna and entered. Donna didn't notice them and didn't even seem to realize when Sam picked her up and carried her to the car.

OOOOOOOOOOOOO

November 13

10:30 PM

They entered the hospital together. Donna had tried to calm herself some and now had her emotions in check enough to just have a constant stream of tears. CJ greeted them at the waiting room that they had been using. She embraced Donna in a tight hug as they let themselves use each other for the support they yearned for. For the moment the whole world could wait, as this was all that mattered now. CJ held her at arms length.

"He didn't seem to suffer, it was quick. Oh Donna, I know none of it means much, but it almost seems to be some comfort."

CJ wiped her eyes and started to lead her to Josh's room. The heads of Leo, the President, the First Lady and the doctor rose as they heard the door open. The doctor was the only one that did not have tears in his eyes. Leo looked like hell and had the same blank expression as he had had when Josh and the President had been shot at Rosslyn. The President didn't look much better than Leo, and neither of them seemed to function. Abbey was also crying, but she had enough sense at the moment to try to hide the scene that Donna had walked into. She moved in front of Josh's body and tried to shield Donna from the fact of life.

"Miss Moss, may I express my deepest sympathies for your loss."

"What happened?"

"He had a pulmonary embolism, a blood clot."

"I know what it is."

The doctor nodded as Donna moved towards the bed.

"Donna don't," the President said. "It was messy. You don't need to see it. This isn't what Josh would want you to remember him by."

"I have to say good bye Sir."

The door closed as the doctor left the room. The President nodded at Donna's last comment and Abbey moved aside. There was a sheet over Josh, but she could tell that there had been plenty of blood. She walked up to the bed and folded the sheet that covered his face down to his chest. He looked so peaceful. He almost appeared to be sleeping. He didn't look like he was dead. _He's not dead,_ Donna thought illogically, _Any minute now he'll spring up and say "fooled ya" and we'll all laugh and be happy and go out for drinks._ But there were no laughs. Only tears came. She leaned down and gave him a quick kiss and then made one last effort to fix his hair before she put the sheet back over his head. She turned to find that all that were in the room were watching her. She straightened up.

"Has his mother been called?"

Leo looked at her.

"Yeah, she was already on her way, but she has been updated."

Donna nodded.

"Okay well...."

However her response was cut short as she felt a wave of nausea hit her. She ran to the bathroom, and made it just in time. Abbey followed her and held her hair out of her face.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Actually I'm surprised that this didn't happen earlier. It's been going on for about a week. Josh wanted to go to a doctor. Do you have any input?"

"I have some ideas, but lets discus them later. You okay to go back into the room now?"

"Yeah."

They left the bathroom.

"Leo, when is his mother's flight getting in?"

"Miriam will be here in about two hours. The President and First Lady were coming too. How about you?"

"Miriam will need support. We all do."

"Yeah. I was going to invite the entire staff."

"Okay."

She turned away as the tears still streamed down her face. They beaded with each other, each of her tears a silent drop of repressed emotion. Leo came over to her and gave her a much needed hug.

"He loved you so much and I can see why. I remember when you left he went crazy. The worst part was that he wouldn't even admit to himself how much you meant to him then. I swear in the end I was paying people not to kill him. You were the best thing that ever happened to him."

He let her go and walked to the door as the others followed.

"Come on lets get the rest of the gang and head to the airport."

They fell in step, the President next to Donna.

"I know that this is so soon, but I wanted to get out of the way. Eventually I'm going to need someone to fill Josh's position and I was wondering if you would be interested."

"Sir, I ..."

"Now, before you tell me that you're not qualified let me stop you. You're more than qualified; you've seen how it's run for a few years now. I don't need an answer now, but remember that everyone would help you."

The mood started to change as the President let this set in.

"He was a good man Donna, and like a son to me. I can only think how proud he would be if you were to take this offer. He knew that you could do this. Think about it."

With this he moved up to walk next to Abbey. She leaned over and whispered something that Donna couldn't catch, but caused the President to smile.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

They entered the waiting room while the senior staff all jumped to their feet.

"Sit."

The President looks that them all.

"Josh's mother flight is coming in about two hours. Anyone who wants can come, and I suggest that you do. It will be easier with all of us together right now. What do you say?"

The staff didn't need to be asked twice as they all knew that what the President said was true.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

The staff sat in utter silence for the beginning of the ride to the airport. However, it was broken after several minutes.

"We really need to do something other than mope."

It was Sam.

"This isn't what Josh would have wanted. I mean think about it. He would probably tell us to go to a bar and spend the night getting drunk in his honor."

"Yeah," CJ started, "if he could see us now he'd be saying 'CJ, you guys are so dull. You are being complete and utter party poopers. Loosen up, live a little.' Then he would smile and walk away knowing that we would do just that, when he was gone because we wouldn't want to inflate his ego anymore than we had to."

CJ looked around.

"Toby, you' re smiling."

"Yeah. It's funny, and yet it is sad. It is so strange to think that Josh and yet we can still predict how he would react in certain cases. Josh is gone and yet he isn't."

They all stopped to think about what had been said. As they sat there lost in their own thoughts they arrived that the airport. They exited the limo knowing that this was going to be one of the times when they were all going to have to stay strong.

TBC


	4. Party at Donna's place or so it's said

**When Lighting Strikes Twice**  
  
Rating: PG-13 to be safe

Couples: J/D

Category: **Angst**, Drama, Romance

Summary: This wasn't suppose to happen. You didn't bury people who were young enough to be your child. That wasn't how life was supposed to work. However, fate seemed to be out to get them all. 

Disclaimers: These characters aren't mine (god knows I wish that they were) they belong to Aaron Sorkin etc.  
  
Author's Notes: This is my first fanfic so tell me if you like it. This takes place in the second term of the administration, but since it is an AU Sam is still at the White House, and will is not. **Major Major Angst Alert!! You may want lots of tissues. I even had a hard time writing it. Please read and review. Your comments will be greatly appreciated**.

Thank you to all those who have reviewed this so far your comments mean so much I hope that you all continue to enjoy the story.

**Chapter 4**

**Party at Donna's place, or so it's being said**

The President approached his staff.

"Leo, Donna, do you want to greet her?"

"Yeah," Leo responded.

The tired chief of staff studied Donna's nodding face. He couldn't really believe that this was happening. Noah had been a close friend and it had been hard enough to help bury him, and now... Now he would have to bury his friend's son. This wasn't suppose to happen. You didn't bury people who were young enough to be your child. That wasn't how life was supposed to work. However, fate seemed to be out to get them all.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

November 14

12:45 AM

"Flight 969 has landed."

The loudspeaker told them that it was time. Miriam's flight had landed. Leo took Donna's hand and gave it a small squeeze before she went to get Miriam. She looked at him and there was relief and thankfulness written all over her face. He gave her a smile and she couldn't help but to smile back. Then she and Leo started towards the gate. Miriam looked around and spotted Leo and Donna about the same time that Donna spotted her. Donna started to walk towards her and then embraced her in a tight hug. She felt Miriam tense and then relax as she let a few tears that hadn't yet fall. Leo then took her place, and then took her hand as they walked back to the President.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

The staff exchanged hugs with Josh's mother before heading back to the limo. Toby and CJ were talking while the President, First Lady, and Sam were with Josh's mother. Leo fell in step with Donna. She withdrew for a split second when she felt a hand grasp hers, but relaxed rather quickly. She turned to face him and gave a half smile.

"Thanks for earlier, I really needed that."

"It was nothing. Donna, let it go everyone can see that you are on the edge. We can all be strong for each other. You don't have to be the pillar of strength that everyone leans on. It's your turn. We can be strong for you too."

She nodded.

"Where are you staying tonight? Because I'll be damned if you think that you are staying alone, and I think that goes for everyone else as well. But is there anything I can do? Josh's mother is staying with the President and First Lady. Do you want me to tell them you'd be staying with them? Nothing right now would be any kind of problem. I could even come over or have CJ stay with you, you just have to ask. "

She didn't know what to say. She hadn't thought about what she was going to do. She and Josh had been engaged, but only their families, the first family, and senior staff had known that. They had wanted to keep a low profile they decided not to get married until after their stay in the White House, however they had been living together. Now, the thought of going back to the apartment didn't sound appealing. There were to many memories and the whole place would just scream Josh. She knew that she couldn't handle that right now.

She knew that she couldn't handle it, and yet she knew that she had to. She would have to go back to the apartment. She had to do it for herself, a reminder that this all had happen that it wasn't just some bad dream that she was having.

She turned. "I'm not really sure what I'm doing. I have to go back to the apartment, but I really haven't taken the time to think about it."

Leo nodded. "I'll have CJ, Toby, and Sam spend the night with you, because I wasn't just say that you weren't going to stay alone, I meant it."

"Thanks."

Leo left her side to talk to the staff and let them know what they had just been signed up for. This once again left her stuck with her own thoughts, s something that she really didn't want to handle right now. Luckily, help arrived to relieve her of that situation. Toby took Leo's spot by her side.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"So, I hear that we are going to have a party at your place tonight."

He gave her a smile. It was funny she had to admit. She smiled back.

"Yeah, but don't tell anyone else their feelings may be hurt cause they weren't invited, and I don't want to hurt the President's feeling. So try to keep a low profile."

That made Toby laugh.

"CJ and I will be dropped off at your apartment with you. Sam, will be dropped off at his place so that we won't all starve. Now, with that said is there anything that you would like to eat?"

She laughed and then thought about it for a moment. Toby had this way of taking even the most serious thing, and suddenly making it funny. He also had the habit of making funny things serious, but that is a different story. Now, to the topic of food. Well, she didn't really care what they had, and she wasn't sure how much of it she would eat so she figured that anything that they had would be fine,

"Pizza would be fine. It's quick and easy and everyone will eat it."

"Pizza it is then. I'll tell Sam," he said with a nod in Sam's general direction. He then walked off to inform her "party guests" what the menu for the night well, morning was.

TBC


	5. The night things did go bump

**When Lighting Strikes Twice**  
  
Rating: PG-13 to be safe

Couples: J/D

Category: **Angst**, Drama, Romance

Summary: This wasn't suppose to happen. You didn't bury people who were young enough to be your child. That wasn't how life was supposed to work. However, fate seemed to be out to get them all. 

Disclaimers: These characters aren't mine (god knows I wish that they were) they belong to Aaron Sorkin etc.  
  
Author's Notes: This is my first fanfic so tell me if you like it. This takes place in the second term of the administration, but since it is an AU Sam is still at the White House, and will is not. **Major Major Angst Alert!! You may want lots of tissues. I even had a hard time writing it. Please read and review. Your comments will be greatly appreciated**.

Thank you to all those who have reviewed this so far your comments mean so much I hope that you all continue to enjoy the story.

**Chapter 5**

**The Night things did go bump**

November 15

1:30 AM

They had all got into the awaiting limo and had then been dropped off at their appoint areas. As Toby had said Sam was dropped off at his apartment while CJ and Toby were dropped off with her. They entered into the apartment and as she had predicted there was an overwhelming feeling of Josh. She took a deep breath and walked in. CJ took the coats they had and then they all sat down, Donna on the couch next to Toby, while CJ took a big armchair.

"So, Sam will be here soon. We'll all eat and then you have to get some sleep. Always we all have strict orders from the President, First Lady, and Leo that you are not allowed to go into the West Wing tomorrow. They said that even if went you won't be allowed in so the recommend that you don't even try."

CJ said it all in one breath like she didn't want say, but knew she had to. Donna nodded to show that she understood just as Sam entered. The meal was uneventful and only lasted about 10 minutes. No one really talked, which was good. She didn't think that she would be able to have a pleasant conversation. Right she was using all her strength so that she wouldn't break down again. They finished eating and Toby said that Donna should get some rest. She went to the main bedroom and closed the door.

She laid down and looked at the clock. 1:45 Josh had been dead for nearly 4 hours. She felt the tears slip down her face. It had only been 4 hours and yet it felt like an eternity had gone by. How was she going to survive if this was what it was going to be like when even a minute seemed to last longer than a year. However, that question was to remain unanswered until at least morning for exhaustion was now beginning to set in.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

It was awful. She saw Josh, saw his attacker start to pull out the gun. She knew what was going to happen now, and she had to prevent it. She screamed at the top of her lungs for Josh to move, to get out of the way, there was a gun. However, Josh remained motionless, not seeming to hear or see her. She did everything she could to try to get his attention, but her efforts were in vain as she watched helplessly as the gun was fired. She saw the bullets hit him, and watch as he fell to the ground the look of recognition flash in his eyes and, then saw it replaced with a look of pure terror. He mouthed 'help me' and then his eyes fluttered shut. The world then seemed to open up to her as she ran to him. She dropped to her knees and took his head and placed it on her lap. She smoothed his hair telling him he would be fine all the while as she was yelling for help. However, help seemed to not be possible, on one can to help her or even stopped to look at her. Everyone was completely ignoring her. Even their friend wouldn't stop as they passed by one by one. She watched as the blood grew into a bigger puddle around Josh and his skin started to pale. His breath started to become labored. She looked around for help one last time and saw who was it? It was Josh's grandfather, she recognized him from the picture Josh had in his office. He came up to her and she asked for help one last time, but he only shook his head and knelt down besides her.

"It's time for him to come with me."

"No, please no. Don't take him with you please. I need him. We all need him. Don't. Not now it isn't his turn yet."

The only response was the shaking of the head 'no'. Once again she was forced to deal with the death of Josh as his labored breaths stopped all together. She watched, as he died this time. Living through the experience that she had been spared once, and yet the world seemed to decide that she couldn't just let her be and that she had to go through it anyway. She broke down sobbing and the world just seemed to keep spinning without her.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Toby woke with a start and took a second to get his bearings. He was on the couch of Donna's apartment. Everyone else was gone, as he had told them to get some sleep that he would stay with Donna for the rest of the night. He was trying to figure out what had wakened him. Then he heard it again a scream to get out of the way. It was Donna, but what was she talking about? He almost ran to the bedroom, he was about to open the door, but thought better of it and knocked. There was no answer so he let himself in.

"Josh move! Damn it! He has a gun move!"

Toby shuddered. She was having a nightmare, one that definitely had to do with Josh.

"Nooo! Josh don't worry you'll be fine. Will someone please help me?! This man has been shot. I need someone to call 911."

Toby winced as Donna went through several minutes of pleading for help from anyone. However, the worst shock was when he heard his name and everyone else's for that matter placed in the mess of pleads. Then the worst came.

"No, please no. Don't take him with you please. I need him. We all need him. Don't. Not now it isn't his turn yet."

He wasn't sure whom she was pleading with, but knew that this would most likely be the end. This thought was proved true with Donna bursting into sobs. Toby saw this opportunity to wake Donna. He shook her gently.

"Donna. Wake up. It's a nightmare. You need to wake up."

He gave her one more shake before she woke up. He was not prepared for the sight that met him. Donna's eyes were red and full of pain and suffering. She had tears streaming down her checks as she started to shake. That best Donna looked like she had been to Hell and then back again.

"Donna, are you alright?"

He knew that she wasn't, but he need to find out how not all right she actually was.

"Toby? Toby I saw it. I watched it happen. I saw the gun be drawn, and then the trigger being pull, and I couldn't do anything to get him to move. I saw how scared he was the instant he realized that it was happening again. He looked so so fearful, like a frighten child, and all I could do was hold him. I couldn't even get help. No one would help me. Why? Why didn't any of you help me?"

That struck a nerve. He had been sure when he first heard it, but now he was certain of one thing; Donna had tried to get help and not one of them, anyone that she considered a friend, had stop. They had left her. They had left Josh to die. The thought made him stiffen.

"Toby I had to watch him die. Why can't I just get away from it? Why did I have to go through it all again? Isn't once enough?"

With this Donna buckled under it all, and gave into more tears. Toby warped his arms around her and just held her as she cried herself to sleep. What was he going to do? Not only was he worried about Donna; he was also worried about himself. Josh had been a great Friend and like a brother. He wasn't ready for this and neither was anyone else so he asked himself again, what was he going to do?

TBC


	6. she found the tenth circle of hell the o...

**When Lighting Strikes Twice**  
  
Rating: PG-13 to be safe

Couples: J/D

Category: **Angst**, Drama, Romance

Summary: This wasn't suppose to happen. You didn't bury people who were young enough to be your child. That wasn't how life was supposed to work. However, fate seemed to be out to get them all. 

Disclaimers: These characters aren't mine (god knows I wish that they were) they belong to Aaron Sorkin etc.  
  
Author's Notes: This is my first fanfic so tell me if you like it. This takes place in the second term of the administration, but since it is an AU Sam is still at the White House, and will is not. **Major Major Angst Alert!! You may want lots of tissues. I even had a hard time writing it. Please read and review. Your comments will be greatly appreciated**.

Thank you to all those who have reviewed this so far your comments mean so much I hope that you all continue to enjoy the story.

Chapter 6 She found the 10th circle of Hell, the one that Dante failed to discover, the Pressroom 

November 15

10:00 AM

She wasn't ready for this. They were now in the Senior Staff meeting prepare for what she thought to be the toughest briefing she would ever have to do, and of course it was the one she didn't want to do. However, she knew that she didn't really have a choice. It had to be done.

"It just seems so wrong. By announcing it to the world it makes it so final, and I really don't want that."

They all turned to look at her. This had been the first time she had talked during the whole meeting. Mostly she had just been nodding at everything they had been saying. Now, it wasn't her nodding, but everyone else.

"But it has to be done, so what am I going to say?"

"Sam and Toby finished the statement. Read it at the briefing. Explain that we will let them know the funeral plans as soon as they are made. Also tell them that we will have the doctor that operated on Josh here for questions in a day or two."

Leo finished and handed her the statement.

"You'll do fine. Calm down."

She nodded and left the room followed by Sam and Toby. She had 30 minutes to prepare for the press briefing that she could never, in her life, prepare for.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

The Pressroom

10:30 AM

She walked into the briefing room. Moments before Sam and Toby had been with her in an effort to calm her down. Now, as she reached the podium she could feel all eyes on her and see the flashes from all the cameras. She placed the statement on the on the podium and took a deep breath, just like those that she had taken before she walked in here, in an effort to calm herself. Then she started.

"Good morning everyone. I have some sad news. At 10:03 PM on Monday, November 14, Deputy Chief of Staff Joshua Lyman died after sustaining a gunshot wound two days prier. Funeral arrangements have not yet been made, but I will let you know as soon as they have. Also the doctor that operated on Josh will be here in two days to answer any questions you might have of the medical related nature. However, right now I will take questions and answer what I am able to."

For the first time ever, after CJ had finished her statement, the pressroom was silent. They did not shout her name for a full minute, a sort of onionskins moment of silence for the man who had given their bosses who worked on late night TV a never ending stream of jokes. They paused to remember Josh. However, moments like this never last forever.

"CJ, CJ."

The room erupted into noise.

"Katie."

"Is the reason to why Josh was shot known?"

"Nothing more than it was a random attack. It looks like the guy just woke up and decided that shooting someone was a good idea. Greg."

"CJ, can you tell us what some of the complications were that were contributing factors of Josh's death?"

"No, first of all I'm not a doctor so I wouldn't know anyway and second of all I wasn't Josh's doctor, so even if I had been a doctor he wasn't my patient. In other words I can't help you with that one, but in two days when Josh's doctor does come I'm sure that he can help you. Bill."

She could feel her control start to waver, and know that she would have to finish soon unless she wanted to give the press another story to write about too.

"Has Josh's family been informed?"

"Yes, Josh's mother arrived here last night and will be staying at the White House until after the funeral. Danny."

This was going to be the last one as she could already feel the tears starting to form at the corners of her eyes. God he better make this quick.

"CJ, can it be said who the President has been brainstorming to fill the position of Deputy Chief of Staff?"

"Yes, that position has been offered to Donna Moss Josh's assistant since the campaign. As of the now the President is waiting for a reply from Donna. Well that's all I have. I'll see you at two o'clock for the actual briefing."

She grabbed the statement and quickly made her way from the podium. There was one thing that she wasn't going to let these vultures see, and so she had to get out fast. She made it to the door just in time.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Donna switched off the TV. She had woken up at 10:20 so that had blown to hell her plan to go against Leo and the President, but she figured that she could at least watch the Press Conference. CJ had done an astonishing good job for something that she probably had to pushed to podium to do. Never the less it had still been flawless. There was only one problem that she was almost certain the press didn't catch. It was her eyes. CJ eyes had looked dead. There had been no sparkle in them not even a little they looked dull and lifeless. They probably looked like what Donna assumed hers did. It hadn't been any thing big, but it had been there. She got up from the couch deciding that she needed to do something. So she walked to the fridge and started to make breakfast.


	7. Breaking down in six parts

**When Lighting Strikes Twice**  
  
Rating: PG-13 to be safe

Couples: J/D

Category: **Angst**, Drama, Romance

Summary: This wasn't suppose to happen. You didn't bury people who were young enough to be your child. That wasn't how life was supposed to work. However, fate seemed to be out to get them all. 

Disclaimers: These characters aren't mine (god knows I wish that they were) they belong to Aaron Sorkin etc.  
  
Author's Notes: This is my first fanfic so tell me if you like it. This takes place in the second term of the administration, but since it is an AU Sam is still at the White House, and will is not. **Major Major Angst Alert!! You may want lots of tissues. I even had a hard time writing it. Please read and review. Your comments will be greatly appreciated**.

Thank you to all those who have reviewed this so far your comments mean so much I hope that you all continue to enjoy the story.

**Chapter 7 **

**Breaking down in six parts **

November 15

10:55 AM

Leo met CJ at the door of the briefing room.

"You did good," he said patting her on the back.

That was all that she could handle. The dam broke and her tears began to fall. Leo led her to her office. He helped her sit down and then turned towards her.

"You been so good at this, so let it out now."

She continued to cry as he stood and started to walk out of her office as Danny walked in. He made his way to his office thinking two down five to go.

He entered his office his face one that showed he was definitely deep in thought. This was going to be the death of him. Not the fact that Josh was dead, but the aftermath. Toby had told him about Donna's nightmare, and now CJ had cracked. What was he going to do? His staff, himself, and the President were all having their own kink of break down over Josh's death. He was worried about everyone, but mostly about Donna. While everyone else would break and then rebuild so to speak he didn't know how long this would take Donna, or what kind of toll it would take on her. For now he would just have to do what he could for everyone and take things as they came.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

He turned off the TV. The briefing was over. CJ had done with grace what no one else could do; make such a hard task look so easy. He picked the ball up from his desk and looked at it. Josh was dead. The whole idea hadn't entirely sunk in yet. He threw the ball, knowing that when it the glass Sam wouldn't come running because Sam wasn't there right now. It bounced back. Josh would never walk into the White House again. He caught it. Josh would never walk the halls of the West Wing again. He threw it. Josh would never be in the Communication Bullpen from now on. It bounced. He would never be in his office arguing about how the bill should be written. It was caught. He would never utter another word. It was thrown. Thought. It bounced. Thought. It was caught. Thought. This pattern continued for about 5 minutes, with the force of the throw becoming more intense each time, until the ball didn't bounce back as the glass of the window shattered sending a silent message.

"Enough dwelling. I don't want this."

A call was placed 10 minutes later to maintenance due to a broken window.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"Jed, Josh's mother and I are having lunch soon. Do you want to join us? It will give you time for a break."

Jed Bartlet's thoughts were interrupted by the calling of his wife from the doorway of the living room.

"Nah, I have to go to the office."

"Jed you can't keep your feelings suppressed like this."

Abbey walked into the room and Jed turned to her. He had tears streaming down his checks, and he looked old.

"Babe, we all miss him, and wished that this had never happened, but what you are trying to do isn't healthy you have to let it out."

"I can"

With this Jed let the tears flow as Abbey came to embrace him in a hug. It was only then that Jed noticed that she to was crying.

"We'll get though it. We all will..."

He whispered as Abbey continued to cry with him.

"... And we'll help Donna out once she figures it out. We won't make anyone do this on their own."

Abbey looked up and gave him as a smile as she wiped her tears away, and then his.

"So will you come eat with us then?"

"No. I wasn't just going to go to the office. I do have some work I need to do, but don't worry I'll be alright, and I promise I'll have something to eat."

"Alright Jethro, I'll let you off the hook this time."

She walked out of the room. Jed got up and walked out of the door towards the Oval Office.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Sam sat at Josh's desk trying to clean off some of the garbage that littered it. He had been here for almost an hour, and yet he still couldn't see the top of the desk. Of course it probably wasn't helping that he had to stop every other minute to wipe away the tears that kept appearing in his eyes. He tried to prevent them by think about anything other than what he was doing, but every piece of paper every little item he found seemed to cause him to discover some way that it could be connected to Josh. There was no ending in sight to the possibilities. He thought about what he had wanted to do at the launching of this task. He had wanted to help Donna out by starting the daunting chore, but all he could think was that he had just made the mess bigger.

"I thought I might find you here."

Sam looked up with a start to find Josh standing in front of him.

"Aw Sam don't look so dumbfounded. You wanted this to happen. You knew that if you waited long enough you would see me."

"I didn't."

"Sam don't try it, your poker face isn't much better than mine. You got to stop this. You were the one that told everyone that moping wasn't what I would have wanted. Now stop being a hypocrite and practice what you preach. You were right. I don't want people to mope around so stop doing it."

Sam sat there flabbergasted.

"Josh I'm sorry I'll stop."

"That's all I ask buddy."

Josh turned and opened the door and turned to give Sam one last smile. Then he left. A minute or two later Sam woke up.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Leo sat at his desk. He wasn't sure what time it was, well for that matter he wasn't sure about a lot right now, but he knew it was late since wasn't light outside. He looked at the empty bottle that sat on his desk. It hadn't been the best scotch, but it had done the trick. He looked at the bottle again, and realized what he had done. He hadn't wanted to do it, but he didn't know another way to get rid of the pain. Josh was dead. He was pretty sure that since the bottle was empty, and he still felt the lose of the boy he had taken under his wing, and in the end had become the son he never had, that this scheme hadn't worked as he had wished.

"Leo, it's 10:30 are you leaving yet?"

"Yeah...I...I ...Yeah in a few minutes."

"Leo what's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'm leaving in five minutes so you can go. I'll be fine. Thank you for getting me. "

He hoped that this would get her to go without her meddling, but Margaret didn't seem to want to leave this alone as she stepped into his office, and looked around for a second before she spotted it.

"Leo why is there an empty bottle of scotch sitting on you desk?"

"I like to take it out and look at it every once in a while."

"Leo I'm getting the President."

"No! I'm fine. I told you I am leaving in five."

"Fine."

She went shutting the door behind her. Good he could be by himself again. Of course, at some point he would have to get up and get started for home, but he would worry about it when the time came. There was a knock on the door.

"Margaret, I said five minutes."

"Yeah, she told me that."

Leo struggled to stand up as the President entered the room.

"Sit down Leo. There's no point in you trying to stand up when you really can't. Yes, I know exactly what you did, and can I point out that it perhaps wasn't the best choice you've made lately."

"Sir?"

"Damn it Leo! Don't play dumb with me. I know what you did."

"See here's the thing _Mr. President_ I don't think you do."

"Okay, then try to stand up again, _and we'll see just how mistaken I am_."

Leo glanced at the President with a look a pure poison as he pushed the chair away from the desk and started to stand. But he didn't get that far as the world around him started to spin. Jed was by his side in a heartbeat helping him back into his chair.

"That's what I thought."

His voice was gentler now, as he watched Leo put is head in his hands.

"Leo. I know it's hard, but you can't resort to this."

"He was like the son I never had. How can I bury him, when it's not really his time to go? He still had plenty of time left. Why now?"

Jed nodded. He too was wonder the same thing.

"Stay at the residence tonight. You came have one of the spare bedrooms. I know you didn't do it to spite anyone, but I was just so pissed off. I mean you could have come to anyone of us. No one should have to go through this kind of stuff alone. Come on stay."

Leo nodded recognizing the tone that Jed was using to be the one he used when his mind was already made up. By now he realized that there was not point in arguing, and if he did Jed would just tag team against him with Abbey.

"Alright."

"Good lets go."

Jed helped him up as Leo put his arm around Jed's shoulder for support. They made their way slowly towards the residence, only stopping once for Jed to say:

"You know my friend you can always come to me."

Then they continued on in their journey.

TBC


	8. A forgotten book and a note to the Dead

**When Lighting Strikes Twice**  
  
Rating: PG-13 to be safe

Couples: J/D

Category: **Angst**, Drama, Romance

Summary: This wasn't suppose to happen. You didn't bury people who were young enough to be your child. That wasn't how life was supposed to work. However, fate seemed to be out to get them all. 

Disclaimers: These characters aren't mine (god knows I wish that they were) they belong to Aaron Sorkin etc.  
  
Author's Notes: This is my first fanfic so tell me if you like it. This takes place in the second term of the administration, but since it is an AU Sam is still at the White House, and will is not. **Major Major Angst Alert!! You may want lots of tissues. I even had a hard time writing it. Please read and review. Your comments will be greatly appreciated**.

Thank you to all those who have reviewed this so far your comments mean so much I hope that you all continue to enjoy the story.

Sorry that it took me so long to post with school I don't get on as much as I used to.

**Chapter 8**

**A Forgotten Book and a note for the Dead**

November 15

11:40 PM

It was late. Toby had just gone into the guestroom to sleep. She knew that she should do the same, but couldn't. Donna looked at the diary in her hands. She had forgotten about it until today when she had gone through the chest she had that held knick-knacks and stumbled upon it. It was hard to believe that this tiny book had caused such a big problem, and in the end had almost ruined what she and Josh had at that point. She remembered that Josh had made her let him read it just before he had given it to Cliff. There been things about how she felt about Josh even then, and Josh being himself hadn't known how to handle it, and had tried to separate himself from Donna. It had been during this time that he had gone out with Amy. Donna had come upon this information during a fight that they had had. It had been a cheap shot saying something about Amy, but it had hit its target hard, but now she didn't want to remember the bad times. She had a mission. She opened the dairy and started to write:

_**Josh, **_

_**Well you've been dead for a day, and even though I still love you I can't help, but hate you for what you did to me, and everyone that loved you. How could you leave me, and your mother, the President, Leo, and everyone? You haven't had to see them, but I saw. Leo was ready to die with you. The President, god, the only time I've seen him sadder than this was when Mrs. Landingham died. Your mother however remains strong, don't know how she does it after already having to burying a daughter and husband, and now the last of her family, but she does. Josh. I know that you didn't mean to, but did you ever think of how this was going to affect others. Margaret called a little while ago and said that Leo had an empty bottle of scotch on his desk. Didn't you see any of this coming? CJ, Toby and Sam were over here earlier, well Toby is still here, but I swear I haven't seen a sadder group even Sam couldn't find something to smile about. CJ brought Chinese, and wasn't right without Kong Pow Chicken, plus I had no one to share my food either. Tomorrow we're all having breakfast with the President and First Lady. After that your Will will be read, and then we will make funeral arrangements. Just thought you'd like to know what it was like here. Remember, no matter what I say I'll always love you.**_

_**Donna**_

She put the diary down on the corner table, turned off the light and cried herself to sleep. She didn't notice that Toby had stood in the doorway, and stay there until he was certain she was a sleep.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

November 16

6:15 AM

Donna woke up to the smell of eggs and bacon. She made her way to the kitchen to find Toby cooking.

"I thought we were eat with the President."

"We are, but I'm hungry now, and it isn't really a breakfast it is more a brunch since it doesn't start till 11."

"Okay. Is there enough for me?"

Toby pushed a plate in Donna's directions.

"You can eat first so that you can shower first because I'm telling you women take way to long in the shower."

OOOOOOOOOO

TBC


	9. A Rose Tinted World till the Glasses

**When Lighting Strikes Twice**

Rating: PG-13 to be safe

Couples: J/D

Category: **Angst**, Drama, Romance

Summary: This wasn't suppose to happen. You didn't bury people who were young enough to be your child. That wasn't how life was supposed to work. However, fate seemed to be out to get them all.

Disclaimers: These characters aren't mine (god knows I wish that they were) they belong to Aaron Sorkin etc.

Author's Notes: This is my first fanfic so tell me if you like it. This takes place in the second term of the administration, but since it is an AU Sam is still at the White House, and will is not. **Major Major Angst Alert!! You may want lots of tissues. I even had a hard time writing it. Please read and review. Your comments will be greatly appreciated**.

Thank you to all those who have reviewed this so far

**Chapter 9**

**A Rose Tinted world till the Glasses Came off**

November 16

12:30 PM

Donna sat in the living room of the residence the 'brunch' as Toby had called it had been nice. The reading of the will had gone well. There hadn't been anything special about. It basically read I Joshua Lyman give this much to my mom, and this much to Donna. There had only been one big request, that letters be passed out to all those present also know as Miriam, Donna, the President and First Lady, Leo, Sam, Toby, and CJ. Next they had to plan the funeral, something that Donna was not looking forward to.

"So I know that Josh is Jewish, but I was wonder if you would like to have the funeral at the National Cathedral?"

The President was talking to Josh's mother.

"Mr. President I don't know what to say. It would mean so much to have it there."

"Then it's done. Now we need to talk about the service."  
Donna looked up. This is what she was here for. She and Josh had had this discussion before for. Donna had insisted it after they had gotten together, because you could never know when another Rosslyn was going to happen.

"Josh wanted Leo, Sam, and CJ to speak. He wanted Toby to say the Kaddish and the President to give the final remarks. Also he said if it wasn't to muck to ask for he wanted Toby, Sam, Charlie, Danny, Mike Casper, and Wesley Davis as pallbearers. In general he didn't want anything real big. He didn't even want a real service. When I said that he wanted Leo, Sam, and CJ to speak that's all I mean. He just wants them to speak."

The entire room was silent as Donna spoke. She wasn't sure if they were just listening, or if they were shocked. She was pretty sure it was the second one though.

"What? When did you guys come up with this?"

It looked liked the President could believe what he was hearing.

"We talked about it pretty soon after we got together. We decided that since we never knew if another Rosslyn would happen it was safest to talk about it, so if anything where to come about we would know what to do."

The group let this set in. They weren't sure what to think, and Donna could see that. Josh's mother was the first to speak.

"Well if that is what Josh wanted that's what he'll have."

The rest nodded in agreement.

"There is on last thing," the President spoke up. "We need to decide when the funeral is going to be."

"Let's have in five days. That way everyone can prepare what they want to say, and do."

Donna agreed with Josh's mother.

"Then it's set. CJ you'll let the press know and have Danny see Leo."

"Sure thing boss."

"Well that's all taken care of. What's next?"

"Donna, I have a question, but you might want to come with me so I can talk to you alone."

"No, Mrs. Bartlet it's fine you can ask me now."

" I know that you and Josh were living together, and I was wonder if you two happened to be barbecuing at any point."

Donna felt her face her flush. She knew exactly what barbecuing meant. Charlie had told her.

"Umm… Well… Yes, we had… Why?"

"Because you asked me about why you might have been sick for a week, and I think that there is a possibility that you are pregnant."

Donna looked at Abbey Bartlet. Surely she must be joking. She couldn't be pregnant. She looked around trying to get any kind of grip on what was happening. Her rose tinted world was clear now that Abbey had pulled the glasses off. She didn't what to say.

"Are you sure?"

"Well, granted you need to take a pregnancy test, but I suspect that that is the case."

Donna wasn't sure what to do.

"Donna, if you want to wait here for about an hour I have a press briefing at 1:30, and then I could take to the drugstore, and take you home."

"Okay. Thanks CJ."

So as one thing stared to settle, there was another change in events.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

TBC


	10. Cheese Half Ink a Baby

**When Lighting Strikes Twice**

Rating: PG-13 to be safe

Couples: J/D

Category: **Angst**, Drama, Romance

Summary: This wasn't suppose to happen. You didn't bury people who were young enough to be your child. That wasn't how life was supposed to work. However, fate seemed to be out to get them all.

Disclaimers: These characters aren't mine (god knows I wish that they were) they belong to Aaron Sorkin etc.

Author's Notes: This is my first fanfic so tell me if you like it. This takes place in the second term of the administration, but since it is an AU Sam is still at the White House, and will is not. **Major Major Angst Alert!! You may want lots of tissues. I even had a hard time writing it. Please read and review. Your comments will be greatly appreciated**.

Thank you to all those who have reviewed this so far

Just a note the title is from a Full House episode.

Sorry that it has taken so long to post, but school and all that so… sorry.

**Chapter 10**

**Cheese half ink a Baby**

November 16

3:00 PM

Well, it was true. Abbey was right. She looked at the test again. It was positive. CJ knocked on the door.

"What does it say?"

Donna came out with tears streaming down her face. She gave it to CJ who looked at with a puzzled expression.

"It's positive. It means that Josh will never know he's a father, and that the baby will never know its Daddy."

"It could be wrong, you still have to go to the doctors."

"No, it's right. Abbey was right, and Josh…will never…and he really wanted kids."

CJ pulled Donna into a hug as Donna continued to cry.

"Shhhh, don't worry he knows. Somehow he knows."

OOOOOOOOOOO

CJ left Donna's room and called Sam.

"_Well?"_

"There's going to be a new addition to the West Wing according to this test. She still has to go to the doctors, but right now the word is it positive."

"_How did she take it?"_

"Well she was upset, but I think that was more do to with the fact that she was focused on Josh never knowing he was going to be a father."

"_Oh. What's she doing now?"_

"She's sleeping. So I'm going to stay till she wakes up. Toby is coming over tonight right."

"_Yeah. Tomorrow is my night to stay with her until Toby comes. That's all we have planned for now, but we can figure that all out later. Are you going to call everyone else or do you want me to spread the word around?"_

"No, I'll call."

"_Do you need anything?"_

"Nah, I'm okay right now. Listen I got to go so I can call everyone else. See you tomorrow."

"_Okay. Bye."_

OOOOOOOOOOOO

November 16

4:15 PM

"Yeah I'll tell the President, Abbey, and Miriam. Thanks. Take care of her CJ. Okay. Yeah I'll see you tomorrow."

Leo hung up the phone. So Donna was pregnant. This was another development in an already extremely complicated twist of faith. He stood up and headed towards the Oval Office.

"Well what's the news?"

"Sir?"

"Leo the only reason you have to come in here right now is to tell me if she is or isn't."

"Well see Sir I want to tell you, but I know that Abbey and Miriam will have my head if they don't find out as quickly as possible."

Bartlet chuckled.

"Damn straight. So am I to assume that you would like me to get them?"

"If it isn't to hard for you Mr. President."

"No, not at all. Of course this is only because I want to know what it is too, and I know you won't tell me till they are here."

"Sir I don't think you could have said it better."

"Okay. Fine I get the point."

Leo and the President started to walk to the residence.

"Leo can you give me a hint? I want to be one up on Abbey when we get there."

"Sorry Sir."

They entered the residence, and it looked like the President was ready to run to Abbey. They entered in to the living room, where Abbey and Miriam were. Abbey looked up.

"You have news?"

"He has news alright. News that he refused to tell me till the two of you were present."

Jed said this to Abbey in a mock hurt tone.

"Well he made a wise choice. Now, come on Leo stop keeping it to yourself and tell us."

"Okay. According to CJ the home test is positive. So at the moment she's pregnant. She'll still have to go to the doctors but…"

"Leo, we know how these things work. We're all parents. So I was right?"

"Yes."

"How did she handle it?"

"CJ said that she was upset because Josh would never know he was going to be a father, but otherwise she didn't seem unhappy about it. She didn't say that she didn't want it."

"Fine. I'll have to have her over soon so we can talk. Thanks Leo."

"No problem. Now I'm sorry for such a short visit, but I still have work that I need to get done, so I'm going to say goodbye."

"Bye Leo, and thank you again for the news."

Leo started to walk out.

"Abbey like Leo, I still have work also so I'll see you later."

Jed went to Abbey and kissed her. Then followed Leo out of the room.

OOOOOOOOO

November 16

4:20 PM

"So what happened?"

"_It was positive Toby, she's pregnant."_

"How's she taking it?"

"_She is distress that Josh will never know he's a father. After that I'm not sure. She didn't seem unhappy about having a baby, but she was focused on Josh never knowing so I don't know."_

"Okay. Listen, I'll be over around eight. Is there anything that she needs?"

"_She's sleeping right now, so I don' t know. Just grab some food to be safe."_

"Sure. Listen I've got to go. I'll see you around eight."

"_Yeah. See you then. Bye"_

"Bye."

Toby hung up the phone, and turned back to the comments he was writing.

OOOOOOOOOO

TBC


	11. You and me plus a baby shouldmake three,...

**When Lighting Strikes Twice**

Rating: PG-13 to be safe

Couples: J/D

Category: **Angst**, Drama, Romance

Summary: This wasn't suppose to happen. You didn't bury people who were young enough to be your child. That wasn't how life was supposed to work. However, fate seemed to be out to get them all.

Disclaimers: These characters aren't mine (god knows I wish that they were) they belong to Aaron Sorkin etc.

Author's Notes: This is my first fanfic so tell me if you like it. This takes place in the second term of the administration, but since it is an AU Sam is still at the White House, and will is not. **Major Major Angst Alert! You may want lots of tissues. I even had a hard time writing it. Please read and review. Your comments will be greatly appreciated**.

Thank you to all those who have reviewed this so far

Sorry that it has taken so long to post, but school and all that so… sorry.

**Chapter 11**

**You and Me plus a Baby should Make Three, not Two**

November 16

7:30 PM

Donna sat on her bed with her diary on her lap. She looked at it and knew what she had to do.

_**Josh,**_

_**Two days. You've been dead two days, and my world still seems to have stopped spinning. We made arrangements for the funeral today. Everyone was surprised that I knew what you had wanted. I guess they didn't expect you to plan ahead. I really don't know I just need to say something to get away from the topic of planning ahead. Anyway, I also found something out that is wonderful, and yet awful. I'm pregnant. Now, don't get me wrong I want kids as badly as you did, but it makes me so miserable that you won't ever be able to see your child, or act as a dad. I know that you really wanted kids, and I'm sorry that we didn't have any earlier. I don't know what I'm going to do now. CJ said she'll set up a doctor's appointment to double check, but I'm certain. I don't need the doctor's appointment to tell me the home pregnancy was right. Well, I don't know what's going to happen, but I don't think that I will have to worry. I have a feeling that everyone will help. Josh a new addition to the family should make the family equal three not two still. Why did this all have to happen at the same time? Well, I'm going back to sleep. CJ has probably made sure that everyone already knows. I miss you. I'll love you always.**_

_**Donna**_

She put the diary once again on the corner table and found herself falling back into the blackness and dream world that had become so familiar in the past few days.

Donna woke up and went into the living room. Toby was sitting on the couch watching CNN.

"I was wondering if you were going to get up at all."

"Yeah, well I was hungry."

"There is stew in a pot on the strove. You'll just have to warm it up."

"Thanks."

Donna made her way to the kitchen. She put some of the stew in a bowl.

"Do you want any?"

"No, I already had some."

Donna put it in the microwave, and when it was done went back into the living room and sat on the couch too. She ate in silence, and put the bowl back in the kitchen, and then came back.

"I have something for you."

"Really what?"

"Well, it isn't really for you, but here."

Toby handed Donna a bag. She looked into it to find a stuffed bear.

"What if it doesn't like bears?"

"Donna I have two kids, and I know that they don't care what kind of animal it is, as long as they can chew on it they're set."

Donna smiled. She enjoyed the banter. It gave her something to think about other than Josh, and that was good. She needed to think about other things. She didn't want to be focused on just Josh.

"So, how are you holding out?"

"If I say fine will you believe me?"

"No."

"Fine. You have to have everything your way don't you."

She looked at him with a mock hurt expression.

"I'm okay. I'm still can't fully believe that he's dead, and I don't really want to, and now I'm pregnant and I don't know what to do. My world has been… been turned upside down in a matter of days, and there are people who act like nothing happened, or like they can forget it."

She was starting to shout now. The dam had been threatening to break when she had been at the White House, but she had been holding on then. Now there was no reason to keep it quiet.

"**But something did happen, and there might be those who can just move on, but I can't. Everything I do keeps me from getting away from it. There is always a little action or some item around the apartment that brings a thousands memories in an instant, and I can't push it away… I can't get away from it all. Now, there are even times when I don't want to. The times when I want to stay the way I am… and I think that if I just try hard enough I'll see him again, or that he'll be able to come back. I don't know what I want anymore because in the span of a few short days I have lost who I am. Do you understand? I lost me. I don't know who Donna is anymore, and I don't know how to find her or get her to come back!"**

She stopped. Toby just looked at her.

"I think that you are already on your way to finding her again."

She still looked at him with tears in her eyes and said in a timid voice;

"But how can you be certain? How can I be positive that she will come back the same?"

"You can't be sure that it will be a carbon copy of the first. In fact if it was I'd be shocked. You've been through too much to ever be the same, but that doesn't mean that you'll never know yourself again. You'll still be Donna, just it will be the Donna that been through the death of Josh. You'll no longer the Donna who almost saw the death of Josh. You'll still be you, just with more experience and insight to life than you did before."

He came up to her and wrapped his arms around her as he pulled her into a hug.

"What Leo said about being strong for each other is true. No one can be the one pillar that holds the rest together. That's what you are trying to do, and you can't do it anymore. You are human to Donna. Stop trying to be the one who holds it together. You've had too much happen to you, and now the load has grown too big. Let it go so that next person can carry it for a little while. You need a rest from it. It's time to pass it on."

Donna continued to cry as he walked her to the bedroom. He sat with her on the bed until the tears started to subside. Then he left knowing that she needed rest, and went into the guest bedroom.


End file.
